Does Fear Weigh More than Your Dreams?

Heck no, right?! Funny thing is, we all start off similarly in our network marketing journey. We get excited, we love the product/service, the thought of becoming debt free, living a financially free life, having a fabulous lifestyle, meeting new people, personally growing, and supplementing our current income. It all makes us smile.

Leveraged income, yes! Here we come dream! There’s only one thing…

Steps have to be taken first, before these dreams become true. And if these actions are not put into practice, then our dreams will only remain in our heads. Reality check. Ouch.

Set the Time to Face the Fear, to Call People and Just Do It

And we’re ready. We’re really really ready to call folks. We are soooo ready… at this time on this day to make those phone calls.

We’ve made a list of names and we’re ready to rock and roll. But for some reason, distractions get in the way – chores around the house, internet, family, etc.

There’s just one more thing that needs to be done before making those phone calls. Next thing we know it’s too late to call anyone and we put it off till tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes and comes and comes again and… our fundamental income producing activity, prospecting and contacting people, is put off again and again and again. Why? Because of fear.

We all know this takes courage. And for many it is the first obstacle to overcome – the fear of contacting people. Honestly we need to overcome it because if we don’t, the longer we procrastinate, the more our dreams become “pie in the sky”.

Sometimes it boils down to asking ourselves in that moment to either call someone or not, what weighs more, our dreams or our fears?

The trick is, if those moments actually arrive. We may intend to call people and never get to it. What is the solution? Schedule your dates and times of operations for your business and just do it.

Should fear freeze your hand from dialing, ask yourself “which weighs more right now, fear or getting out of debt, fear or spending more time with my children, fear or leaving a life of mediocrity, etc…” And then decide, because it does boil down to decisions.

Sometimes we need to bring these things into black and white terms.

Strengthen Emotional Awareness

It’s okay to come clean. No need to make more excuses as to why you haven’t gotten to it… yet. Just admit it. You’re scared.

I remember reading in “Currency of the Future” by Brad DeHaven there are three types of IQ’s a successful entrepreneur must have – FQ, EQ and RQ, which stands for Financial Intelligence, Emotional Intelligence and Relational Intelligence.

Understanding the source of the fear in prospecting is part of developing emotional intelligence. Fear is natural when we’re doing something new and frankly it will come up again and again during the journey to success.

So we might as well become more and more aware of it so we may master it.

Understanding Your Thoughts

Most likely the source of the fear is rooted in our thoughts. Our hearts and our guts give us insight as to what our thoughts may be. Let me explain. Our heart beats fast at the thought of picking up the phone.

Those thoughts start such as “So and so will never do this” or “What will so and so think of me?” or “What if so and so asks me if I’m part of those pyramid things”. We may actually anticipate a negative reaction.

What is at Stake Here, Really?

There are butterflies in our stomach. Because our egos may get hurt???

Take it a step further, let’s just say so and so really does think you’re ridiculous. He or she says “What is (place your name here) up to now?”  So… did you die? No. Did that person’s opinion of you determine your success? No. Did that person’s opinion of you determine your value in life?

Hopefully you say no at this point. If in some way you feel another’s opinion of you really does determine your sense of self worth then a more underlying issue may need to be explored.

The point is get to the root of the fear. Most likely you’ll find it’s based on smoke and mirrors. 

Always Lead with the Prospect’s Interest in Mind

The most important concept that has set me free of the fear of contacting people is understanding the opportunity and product/service in my hands is meant to match the needs and desires of the prospect.

Otherwise there really is no point in the prospect getting involved in the business or purchasing a product or service in the first place.

There is No Fear in Serving Others, Only in Fulfilling Selfishness

We must always have the other person’s interest in mind. Always lead with the intention – “What’s in it for my friend, family member, co worker’s benefit when they are exposed to my product/service/opportunity?” rather than “I got to make money” or “I need people for my team”.

When we come from a place of service to others, people sense it and will engage and connect. The act of prospecting feels good, not sleazy. We are relating to people genuinely.

Be in the Moment, Get Rid of All Ulterior Motives

The purpose of contacting a person is really to understand what’s going on in that person’s life. It is not to “sell” them over the phone (or face to face) on the company or product or service. It is really to identify needs and desires and see if what we have can help them.

If you think about it, prospecting is an everyday life activity. Unless you live under a rock, most likely you’re relating to another human being one way or another. It is just a matter of becoming more aware of what to look out for when interacting with people.

The good truth is majority of people have the need and desire for more time, more money, more health, more confidence, more security, what have you. More likely than not, what we have in network marketing will be compelling to them. It is just a matter of communicating these things effectively.

And if for whatever reason we find there really isn’t a fit when we speak to friends, family, acquaintances, etc. then so be it. There is no loss on your end and on their end.

You never know they may be a referral source for another lead in the future. It always pays to open your mouth and share what you do.

Understand Prospecting is a Process

There is something very fulfilling in really getting to know someone and developing a relationship with them. It makes business so much more fun and dynamic.

Teams are stronger. Sales are easier to make. When there is a real connection with someone, there is no awkwardness when interacting with them.

Folks will not feel like they need to avoid you. Understand cultivating relationships take time and that prospecting is a process.

If you are just starting to get to know someone, it may not be the right time to suggest meeting about your opportunity or product/service early on unless that person explicitly says they are looking.

Know that the window of opportunity will come in the future, maybe just not right away.

Professionals Don’t Pitch

Let’s just say you have cultivated a good amount of trust with a person and based on what you know about that person, what you have may be a good fit. You meet with them and it turns out well but your friend is still on the fence in terms of joining.

Know this is very normal and expected. Why? Because to get to the close, it takes about 5 exposures before a prospect makes a solid decision to join.

Sometimes what creates the fear with prospecting in the first place is the expectation that results have to come immediately. That’s a lot of pressure.

When we understand that prospecting and closing is a process, it alleviates pressure and makes the experience of prospecting more enjoyable.

Emotionally Let Go of the Outcome, Cultivate an Abundance Mentality

I remember when I used to get very nervous when meeting with someone as if my life depended on it. Truly I came from a place of wanting to convince someone why they should join rather than listen to that person and see how my opportunity/product/service can fulfill their needs and desires.

I came from a place of just wanting to recruit rather than cultivate the relationship. It really took me a while to understand this. Today, I am much more relaxed. People feel this energy and respond to it.

Always remember there are plenty of “fish in the sea”.

If at this stage in your career you aren’t there yet and you can’t help but feel the impending doom of running out of people to talk to, just ask yourself “How may I generate an abundant number of leads so the person I am a talking to doesn’t become a do or die interaction in my network marketing career?”

The answer will be shown to you. Why? Simple. It is law. Once a question is asked of the human brain, the answer must be found.

Be Proud of What You Do, Your Belief is Your Responsibility

Because I’ve been ranting for so long – last thing I want to share with you…

So the experts say procrastination is rooted in fear. True. And we know that fear is rooted in many things. The fear of success believe it or not, the fear of how we will be perceived and the fear of change. It is only in looking within do we really find the root causes of our fears.

Another fear may be that we will influence others into something that is not truly prosperous.

Tricky isn’t it?

I want to share a pretty profound quote from someone I admire greatly. You may have heard of a man named Brendon Bruchard. If not, look him up please, it will be worth your time.

In his book “The Motivation Manifesto” there is this quote that just hit me square between the eyes.

“The man who believes the home he is building may house the devil someday will soon put away his tools.”

Wow. Read that to yourself one more time now…

“The man (or woman) who believes the home he (or she) is building may house the devil someday will soon put away his (or her) tools.” (I just had to add the ladies.)

“What is the point, Jenn”, you may ask? Well, how much do you really believe in the network marketing business model? Become aware on this level and if it is lacking in some way (be very honest here) develop your belief in the profession, in the industry.

The Opposite of Fear is Clarity, Faith and Abundance

We all don’t have to be champions or be heroes. What I do know we have to be in order to win in this game of life is honest, real and aware of our internal world. Everything else follows.

Our success in our network marketing businesses (or any other businesses for that matter), our success in our marriages, our success in our finances, whatever successes we have is the tip of the iceberg.

The majority of what lies underneath the surface of it all, determines that success.

Fear is murky and it can be debilitating. It is the opposite of light when it does not protect us from life and death situations. Don’t get me wrong there is a place for fear. It has served humanity.

But when fear gets in the way of our progression in life, it is something to contend with and something that must be mastered along the journey.

Become more clear on why network marketing is right for you and those you care about most. Cultivate the faith that you can do it. Know the leads are there, they have been there and more are coming your way.

How have you mastered your fear of prospecting? If so, what strategies have you used? Help others out and comment below.

Jennifer Asidao-Querubin
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